Last week I had a lesson in recognizing the humanity in all of us. We have a new student who looks like a homeless person. He is disheveled, scarred from burns, and very gruff. When I have asked him to join in group work, he put me off in a very cross way, saying that he can't switch from one thing to another like that. I decided to let him do his own thing--in a sense, giving up on him. His skills are very low and he had been coming in late and leaving early.
Thursday we had just four students. I spent a lot more time with each one and he responded to that attention. Before he left he told me he had been thinking about his telling me he wouldn't do the work I suggested for the group and he apologized in his own way. He began to tell me more about his life than I really wanted to know--his common law wife who was infertile, his wanting children, his best friend in jail, etc. I felt ashamed of my own unwillingness to recognize the vulnerability in him. After all the experience I have had in this job, I should know better.
Today he called the secretary of the adult ed department to leave a message for me that he needed to be excused for his absence. Our own phones are not working properly and he knew I was not home to receive his call. I appreciated his taking that responsibility.
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